Some gyms are about mirrors and muscles. Others are about biceps and back days. CrossFit recognizes none of the above. Some women find themselves making perfect ponytails and girly gear their top priority. But in a world of barbells and sweat, the Barbie ideals just won’t cut it. To be a babe in the box, there are a few things women may want to avoid. So here are your top nine CrossFit female faux pas.
- Model Makeup: Boxes do not host beauty pageants. The focus is fitnessnot your face, and its strategically applied paints. Its one thing to arrive after a busy day of work and WOD with some makeup, but it’s a whole other thing to prepare for your gym arrival an hour in advance with layers of blush and big mascara-clumped lashes. Forgo the prep-time for a pre-workout shake or protein. Because in CrossFit, your performances matters more than your makeup.
- Perfectly Paired Outfits: Your duds may dazzle, but quite frankly, nobody will notice. Itty-bitty shorts may be cute, but will they keep your crotch safe from rope burn? And shiny shoes are nice, but is the heel a hunk of plastic preventing perfect lift form? Pick gear that helps you get the job done. No need for concern regarding coordinated colors, just grab your clothes and go.
- A Done ’Do: Your locks are lovely, but if they’re not kept in place they may pose problems mid-workout. Sticky, sweaty, strands of hair stuck to your face and neck can’t be comfortable. Not to mention the fact that you probably look like a dirty sheep dog if you can’t control your mane. Don’t “do” your hair. Pull it back and keep a clear view of your CrossFit experience.
- Calorie Counting: Walking into a box with a bag of low-calorie fat-free crackers may not fly. Although weight loss may be a goal, going about achieving that goal is a world away from what we’ve been taught for so long. Gone are the days of cutting calories to a nearly non-functioning point. Chemical-filled crap and meal replacements are no more. Most boxes teach health through a high-nutrient, whole food approach along with rigorous physical activity. Toss your calorie counter and belly-up for some bacon.
- Giddy Gossip: CrossFit is intense. Although there may be some chatter prior to a class, once bodies begin to move there typically isn’t enough air in your lungs to engage in the standard girly gossip. And even following a workout, high fives, rolling out, and whiteboards will occupy most of your minutes. If you’re a Gossip Girl, drop the bullsh*t at the door.
- Too Much Tan: The globo-gym tanning trend took off for a while. People had orange-skin envy. But these days, we are all informed enough to know that tanning can be life threatening. In a space that aims to achieve peak health, a golden glow is more of a dark spot on your sparkling résumé of health. Avoid the rays and relax in your skin…pale or not.
- Seductive Stretching: When you walk into a standard bro-gym, it’s easy to spot the pool of pretty women posing strategically as the meatheads meander. And that’s cool if your membership payments are meant to find a mate. But in a CrossFit box you won’t have the opportunity to flaunt your fanny because you’ll be too busy using it to max out on your squat. And unless you consider an inchworm sexy, CrossFit stretching is functional rather than floosy-ish. So skip the stripper routine and get down to business in your box.
- Sinister Stares: CrossFit isn’t an environment of juvenile, judgmental looks. Girls don’t glare at one another and hiss like territorial kitty-cats; they ass-slap, team up, and cheer on. Getting on board at a box will require a new outlook on what female competition means. Things become more about your personal progression and peer support than gazing at other girls with an unhealthy sense of envy. This fitness regimen is ferociously friendly.
- Avoiding Any Actual Work: Unless you simply don’t attend, there’s no way to escape some really hard work when you join CrossFit. It’s a sweat-inducing, breath-restricting, body-moving activity. Your light cardio days on the elliptical are a thing of the past. Your spring jog lacking a drop of sweat ain’t happening here. Be prepared to dabble in less-pretty workout ways.
Your typically CrossFit box embodies health and hard work. Your best shot at success is to embrace your inner badass, grab a barbell, and get going. Forget our societal female standards and show your box community who’s boss. You are. Like a boss.
CrossFit For Women
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